I think I am not a natural guy, or should I say, not the stereotypical dude. Hell, I can’t even out a description to that stereotype. I just know I don’t fit too well into that frame too often. I know what I am though. Or at least I think I do. As you should see by now, I am probably the most uncertain person around the block, especially when it comes to myself. Ask me a damned question about Risk, FA, whatever you study in school and I can confidently tell you what I think. Ask me about myself, and I start stuttering. To think I used to want to exude self-confidence.

So, who am I?? I, for one, can be placed in that chick flick category of guy, the kind that will smile to yourself when you see an Ashton Kutcher kissing a Jennifer Gardner. Okay, dun judge, I am who I am and as time goes by, I learnt that there is nothing wrong with being me, at least not this way. I want to be a nice person. A sincerely nice one, but this world more often than not tells me to not be that nice person. Maybe I am reading too much into nothing, maybe the world isn’t telling me that. Humans are weird, all the stuff about having to be a so-called bad guy to know what it feels like to enjoy life? To understand how girls think when they judge a nice guy, and what they see in the bad ones? Okay, maybe this is what I wanted to write about, but more on that later.

Now that I am officially out of school in less than 12 hours time, I look back, and realise that I have changed. Obviously everyone changes to some extent, but have I lost that goodness I once knew was in me? Have I become a worse person? I know at times, I behave uncharacteristically, or so think some and so say others. But have this uncharacteristic streak become part of me? Of who I am? I don’t know. Like what I said sometime back, ‘I believe most guys are the same kind of people, we just have varying levels of self-control’. I think I used to pride myself with this sense of self-control that I have, the ability to understand conformance to the society. And I would hate to lose it. But is this in itself a value? Does it make me a better person? Or should I let go and be radical, saying and doing whatever I think I want to? Shit, this is a whole damned load of questions. I don’t know where this is going.

Okay, maybe back to the point previously. Its been a long while since I have been in a real relationship with anyone. Some part of me misses that feeling of being with someone. Maybe I have been watching too much TV, too much movies, too much rom-coms. Rmb Clive, American movies happen only in America, even then, possibly only in the studios. I would hate to think that in this world, all these stuff about loving and caring, its all fake. because I buy them, I sincerely do. I really believe that someone is out there, someone is there that I can love and care for. Simply put, maybe I am at the stage of life where I am searching, searching for a relationship. But I am the logical kind of person, the kind that more often than not puts my head ahead of my heart. If I know that I am not going to work that path out, don’t even step into that track. Am I right?? I hope I am. I might be wrong, but at least I feel that I have been a responsible person. I am now really just rambling and I don’t even know I made sense. Gotta read this myself someday. I might just be amazed at myself, at this ‘emo piece of crap writing this thing’.

There was so much more in my mind when I came here, but this is all I can think of now. I always have huge inertia to write, maybe that should change. and it seems that I write only at 2am. whatever it is, I need to sleep to fight MS tmr. I need to score that final goal to step into my next phase of life properly. I have worked the past 3 and a half years not for nothing. If there’s one thing that is so much more than the degree I gain from SMU, its really all the friends that I have gained. A depressed friend of mine just asked me a few days ago to stop being his friend cos he is a bad person and doesn’t deserve friends. What came to my mind was, ‘without friends, we are nothing.’ And SMU filled me up with something. Every phase of my life did.

Till then. Lucks to myself tomorrow. And you too.

I was thinking.. Maybe I will go home and find myself cooking more often.. haha.. and asking my mom to install a oven at home!! No oven = No baked pasta..

The Final Product

My "customers"!

Travelling has been rather fun thus far I guess, except for the fact that its a sometimes a little tiring?

Places I’ve been to so far! In England and have some memories one only… haha..

1. Edinburgh Castle! (didn’t really go there? since we were too miserly to pay the £15 or so to go there?!)
2. The Scotch Whisky Experience! (think Seth and Huifen paid to go in only to accompany me in. haha.. They aint the biggest fans of whisky by a mile! but think we all learnt quite abit more about whisky in general through this tour! Paid £8.50 to go in but got a free whisky glass that cost £5 during the tour and tried a glass of whisky that we ‘think’ we would like, so its kinda worth it at the end? I hope!)
3. Buchanan Galleries (this is one of the shopping centres we visited in Glasgow. Glasgow is a nice city, or should I say its like a town, compared to London? Reminds me of Karlsruhe, where the pace is slower and people BREATHE more. but this shall be left for another time!)
4. River Thames! (The famed river that flows through London! Its a really scenic place!! Especially with the contrast of old and new (like the London Eye and Big Ben?) blending in so well with each other in the background. Walked a stretch of the riverside and got a little tired as we had to lug our bags & all around London that day. Otherwise it would have been so much more enjoyable. A really must see place to at least get a few shots.)
5. Buckingham Palace! (We basically had to cut through the gardens of Buckingham palace to get from River Thames to the coach station. But, it was a nice pretty garden nonetheless. What else right? Its Her Majesty’s garden afterall!)

This post have been so off-the-cuff and random that it doesn’t feel weird to me that I am kinda stopping abruptly! Hope it did not startle you! haha..

Pictures to follow soon okay?

The ONLY FULL group shot of us in Munich!!

Till then…

To be continued…

P.S. Suddenly, “Broken Strings” sums up alot of things… (point to ponder perhaps?)

Montag – Dreitag –> Seth

Mittwoch – Donnerstag –> Huifen

Freitag – Samstag –> ME!

hahah.. you must be thinking Sonnstag (sunday)? Cos most things are closed on sunday, we do breakfast, lunch and dinner in!! So yeah, one each! Don’t have to fight! haha..

Anyway, pictures of the dinner I came up with last week!!

Stir-fried black pepper beef with capsicum!

French beans with mushrooms!

The french beans here are slightly different from the ones we have in Singapore!! They seem to be a lil more “oddly” sized! Small stalks with big beans.. wierd!

TADAH!! The full dinner we had that night.. haha.. I hope it tasted good!!

Till then..
To be continued!

命中注定的也有父母之爱，兄妹之爱，朋友间的关怀与爱护。

忽然之间，我也好想念我妹，想念一直搁置在一旁的至亲。

也许，这将是我这旅途中所该领悟的吧！

This stick of mine has a very irritating grip!! Keeps giving me blisters on the joint between my pinkie and my right palm. The skin tore when I was merely shooting in the house with Seth!! Had to go buy a roll of tape to keep it from tearing again this friday. THE PRICE OF THE TAPE IS AWESOME.. One small roll of Leukoplast cost 2.25euros!! DAYLIGHT ROBBERY!

Today, with a suggestion from Seth, I decided to try the highly-exposed drink in Karlsruhe! It really is selling everywhere!! The drink is called MezzoMix! and its supposed to be a blend of Cola and Orange. OMG. Please tell Coke never to marry Marinda pls.. Their offspring would suck!! if Mezzo Mix is a representation of it! haha.. Okok, I wouldn’t go that far as to say that it is uncomsumable! But, it might just be worth ONE try. haha.

Have a look at Mezzo!!

Haha.. I am really kinda excited once I think of FRIDAY!! Really wanna play some ball and lets see how good are these Germans!!

Till then!

To be continued..

The ride took 20 odd minutes and it gave me a whole new lesson and view of the roads in Karlsruhe. In SG, we always keep left? Here, remember to keep left! Once, Huifen got death-stared by this other female cyclist ‘cos she was cycling on the wrong side of the road! Fierce sia.. Haha.. Since we were on bikes, we took different routes from those we are on when taking the public transports (i.e. trams and buses?). Being on these newer routes showed us the different stuff that can be found hidden away in the smaller alleys.

On the way back we came across this few soccer fields where kids soccer school was going on. It was quite cute to see these little things play soccer! haha.. Maybe one of these days its time to take some photos of what we get to see on the way to school!!

May we explore more of the city tmr!!

haha.. till we get sick of cycling around Karlsruhe, I hope we have many more fun journeys ahead!

to be continued…

Not to say that my mood is down now, but somehow, I don’t feel good. There’s something bugging me, and I hate that feeling.

I need to walk away from my circumstance and I need to move on. As much as I have said in the past, some things just don’t seem to change. God, if there’s a way to go, please let me know. All I ask for now is resolution, the will to keep myself in check, to keep my mind from treading the sodden path again and again. It has been walked enough and clearly the path leads into a labyrinth that shows no light ahead.

Anyway, it has been a couple of days since we moved into Insterburger, things are looking abit brighter now that I have become slightly more accustomed to staying in my bare room alone. Its been me and FM these days. Nothing much to do here either. Maybe that’s why I dislike hostels. I need human interaction, in close quarters. I’m like a herd animal, solitude is certainly not for me.

German classes have been fun, to a certain extent. haha.. but painful at times. We have 3 tutors in total for the classes, with varying amount of english spoken in class. The first, Katrina, would explain all the words and converse with us mainly in english. Rita, the second tutor would come in and make us speak to her in German. And, Andrea would come in and start blabbering away to us in German, refusing to speak English unless absolutely necessary. That was painful. I feel that Rita’s level was the most comfortable and learn-able! But truth be told, its Andrea’s class that teaches the most I guess. Listening to her speak forces our minds to pick up the few word of German that we know and keep them in our minds.

Done I guess, can’t really think of much else to write. Except that, if you have a way, let me know.

This was a random musing post.

Till then..

To be continued…